Stop the hurtful jokes

We’ve all heard them, jokes about dementia are commonplace. And they are hurtful. Listen to Roger’s experience shortly after his diagnosis. Most people do not INTEND to be hurtful. However, we need to discourage others from telling jokes that mock people impacted by dementia. Imagine telling a joke about someone in a wheelchair or someone with cancer!

WHAT TO DO IF YOU HEAR SOMEONE TELL A JOKE ABOUT PEOPLE WITH DEMENTIA?

1. Don’t laugh

2. Let the person know how you feel – the sooner, the better. Say something like, “I know you meant it as a joke, but dementia is just like any other illness and joking about it can be very hurtful.” If you can say it in front of others, it may be even more effective both for the joke teller and the people listening.

3. If the person responds with, “Get a sense of humor!” say something like, “I have a great sense of humor, but I don’t find jokes that mock someone’s disease to be very funny. I actually think it’s offensive.”

4. If the joker is a relative or close friend, be aware that he or she may truly have thought you would find it funny. Explain that you have recently learned more about dementia and you have heard from people living with dementia that they find these jokes very hurtful. Then make the comparison to telling a joke about a person with cancer.

5. Let it go. The person will likely feel badly and may respond with an apology or silence. Either way, let them know that the incident is passed and you are happy to move forward.